What is it with the inability to be happy for other people living in their own happiness? That is the question that keeps coming to mind as I think about this whole Lizzo-revealing-outfit-controversy. Why can’t we see someone living their best life and be happy for them? The unfortunate answer is this: we can, and we do. We only can’t when the person doesn’t fit into our overly specific idea of what a happy person should be.
Lizzo getting out there in her skimpy clothes and dancing her ass off to her own music– that’s happiness. But we can’t accept that on its own. Why? Because in a society that pushes all women to be constantly shrinking, striving to achieve a thin, white ideal, we cannot accept that a fat, Black woman would be so comfortable with herself and her body that she would do this kind of thing. We are used to seeing it from smaller bodies. It’s the norm to see celebrities in scandalous outfits. But it’s also the norm for celebrities to be thin.
When we look at the “arguments” for why people are so outraged, they hold very little water when looked at alongside other situations. “Sports games are family events.” “What about the children?” Well, I think that Nicki Minaj’s leather bondage outfit and Beyonce’s half time performance at the Super Bowl would beg to differ. They would have gotten a lot more heat if this was as big of an issue as people are suddenly making it out to be. Our children are expose to near-nakedness regularly these days, and nobody bats an eye. But the acceptable nakedness in our society is almost exclusively reserved for the thin.
Another beautiful point, “it’s just so tacky to show so much of yourself!” I think Rihanna’s crystal dress that put her breasts on full display would suggest otherwise. The response she got was so positive. It was a bold outfit, a daring look, and was absolutely, without a doubt, more revealing than a standard skimpy dress. What a fashion statement, that was. (That’s not sarcasm, either. That dress was a beautiful fashion statement, and that is a hill on which I will plant my flag and die.) But honestly, the woman’s nipples were out for the world to see, and people called it brave.
Even the way in which people discuss this incident, if you could even call it an incident, demonstrates a clear problem with fat bodies. There is no discussion about the outfit. There is widespread discussion about Lizzo’s body, and her ass, specifically. The criticism is about people being uncomfortable with seeing her body, not their disapproval of her outfit, as sometimes happens with scantily clad thin women. There isn’t a discussion of how the outfit isn’t cute. There is a discussion of, “why is this ass in my face?” but it is taking place in a world where asses are in our face constantly. They are just usually smaller, whiter, and more toned.
So the next time you see someone commenting about Lizzo’s body, think about what underlying message you hear. I know what I hear. It’s the same message I always hear when women talk about fat bodies, and I hear it loud and clear:
“How dare this woman love her body when I hate mine so much.”
“How dare this woman find the confidence and joy that I can’t find.”
“How dare this woman feel soo good when I feel so bad.”
Balance Without Scales 